This is why perfection sucks.

Photo by Zach Chisholm

Perfection sucks because it’s not human. Machines are perfect. Humans are flawed. Accept it.

A few years ago Angus Khan and I played to a drum machine because we were without a drummer for our band, Threefold Law. We needed a steady tempo and that is exactly what the drum machine provided. It never wavers. Set that sucker to 75 beats per minute and that’s what you get. Like clockwork. The problem, and the reason why most bands opt for the flawed drummer as opposed to the perfect drum machine, is that it doesn’t sound real. Making music is organic and the “swing” or “groove” makes it human, pleasant, real. Slight variations in tempo are dynamic and attractive to the listener. Your body can detect a perfect tempo and it doesn’t like it. Your heartbeat is far from perfect. Drum machines sound “fake” because they are. Drummers are always broke, ugly, and late to the show but never perfect – the way it should be.

In life, perfection can be downright paralyzing. The quest for it reduces the willingness to take risks. It fosters complacency and patience. The world has never been changed by complacent or patient people. Yes, it is far easier to aim for perfection and therefore never do something out of fear of failure and live a mind-numbing, bland existence. Zombies live a mind-numbing, bland existence. Except for that “eating brains” thing. That sounds exciting, so I’ve heard.

Take a chance and embrace your flaws. They make you who you are. Be human and leave the perfection to the machines. They’re going to take over the world soon anyways. According to Angus Khan, it’ll be cyborgs or monkeys that will eventually enslave the human race. I’m hoping its monkeys.

Devil Baby Attack!

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few days, you’ve probably heard about Devil Baby Attack. Devil’s Due opened this weekend and the crew’s prank on unsuspecting New Yorkers went viral with over 35 million YouTube views and counting. They built an animatronic devil baby in a remote-control carriage and set it loose in Manhattan complete with red eyes, a satanic growl and projectile vomit. It is juvenile, gross and irresistibly funny. And that brings me to another question.

If the prank was meant to promote a found footage horror movie, did it work?

The folks at Variety believe it gave the movie a nice bump based on metrics taken from the big social media platforms. As of January 17th, the Devil’s Due trailer was viewed 15 million more times than Ride Along and almost 29 million more times than Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Eh. That doesn’t necessarily translate into box office sales but it does generate a buzz and that’s why mega corps use social media. They’re not aiming to promote on social media, they’re using it to generate buzz via word of mouth which is much more effective promotion. Projections put Devil’s Due at around 11.4 million in the first weekend but we’ll have to wait for the hard numbers.

I write horror, I know. But I’m not blogging about Ride Along or Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, am I? In fact, I didn’t even watch the movie trailers for those other movies because movie trailers are like movie theater popcorn. You get a ton before the movie and no matter what you’re always hungry for more.

For the record, I love anything that promotes horror and I love hidden video of people getting the shit scared out of them. As long as it isn’t me.

Excuse me. I need to watch Devil Baby Attack just one more time.

Free novel + 100 reviews = free novel

On January 8th 2013, almost a year to the day, Yvan SCHEITLE wrote this 1-star review on Amazon for Reversion: The Inevitable Horror (The Portal Arcane Series – Book I):

“I normally don’t write reviews on my readings, but this book was such an horror that I felt I HAD to warn future readers. I had to force myself to read until the end so boring and annoying it was (cause you know, you always have that weird hope that the last pages are going to explain it all and make some sense out of the first couple of hundred ones). The writing is OK, but the Story… OMG. I don’t understand how it is possible every single other comment is with 5 stars when you still have no bloody clue what this book is about after having read the last page. Come on, the guy could be dreaming, he could be the guinea pig of some sort of experiment, or basically ANYTHING any reader’s imagination could come up with. The world he lands in answers no rules, the wolves are telepaths, you meet an undead guy that is actually a “good guy” so to speak… All in all a mess that definitely set my mind : I’ll never ever buy another book of this series (might not even give a second chance to the author, this book having been such a bad experience).”

She was right. I was too vague and hid too much from the reader. I did a total overhaul of this book and Rebecca T. Dickson helped me dish out EVERYTHING about the story and the characters. I laid it bare, naked and waiting for you to feast your eyes on the improved story.

Last week I made a deal with the multiverse. Here is my attempt at being cute with it. I hope you’ll give me full credit for redoing the assignment.


*Sign up, get Reversion for free and review if you wanna.

What if you end up in an alternate universe? You’d better hope its not in reversion.

The Principle movie comes out this spring. If you’re a fanboy of Dr. Michio Kaku (and I know you are) this is great news. From the website:

The Principle, destined to become one of the most controversial films of our time, brings before the public eye astonishing results from recent large-scale surveys of our universe–surveys which disclose unexpected evidence of a preferred direction in the cosmos, aligned with our supposedly insignificant Earth.

It’s no surprise that Kaku is involved with this film given his expertise in theoretical physics. Over a year ago I blogged about Dr. Kaku and his theories. In that post I asked questions like: Could you exist somewhere else? An exact copy of you, but the “you” that had a bagel for breakfast this morning instead of a shot of Jack Daniels. What if every time “you” made a decision, another universe was created so that “you” lived in both places at the same time, forever?

I heard Dr. Michio Kaku speak at a convention and then I read Parallel Worlds. I became enamored with the idea of a multiverse (an infinite number of universes) and that inspired Reversion: The Inevitable Horror (The Portal Arcane Series – Book I) . It’s a story about these people who find themselves trapped in an alternate universe, revisiting worlds that are breaking down while trying to figure out how to escape.

Sound interesting? Of course it is. Rebecca T. Dickson helped me rewrite the original book and it’ll blow your mind it’s so damn good. So check this out. If you sign up for my mailing list before February 1st, 2014, you’ll get an electronic copy of Reversion: The Inevitable Horror for free. And if Reversion hits 100 reviews on Amazon before the third and final book of the trilogy is published sometime in 2014, everyone on the mailing list will get a FREE electronic copy of THAT book too before its available to purchase.

Let’s recap. Join my mailing list (upper right corner of the page) and get Reversion: The Inevitable Horror (an incredible story) for free. If reviews on Amazon hit 100 prior to the third book releasing, everyone on the mailing list gets that one for free too. It doesn’t matter if you review Reversion or not. You don’t have to send me proof of a review or promise to do anything. As long as the multiverse racks up 100 reviews, everyone wins. Get book 1 of the trilogy for free, reviews hit 100, get book 3 of the trilogy for free.

The “you” in that other universe has already done it and said to tell you that you’ll love Reversion: The Inevitable Horror.